Friday, March 30th - 6W, 2D
Today was a big day...the first ultrasound to see our little Puglet. When I say ultrasound, it's the transvaginal kind (a big wand they stick up your hooha) which gives the technician the ability to see more detail south of the border. At this point, seeing our tiny bean on a more traditional ultrasound...through layers of skin, muscle and organs just wouldn't happen. Today's was the same type of ultrasound I've been having for months. From August 2011 to February 2012, the technician used the machine to check my uterine lining and ovaries as each monthly cycle progressed. Today, we saw the makings of a baby.
AWESOME...nothing else I can say besides awesome!
We saw all sorts of things on the screen...the grainy black/white you think of with any ultrasound, a big black hole in the middle, a smaller black bubble in the middle of the black hole and just below the bubble was a bright white spot. The technician was patient and explained all the different things we saw but of course, now I can't seem to remember. What I do know...the bright white spot is our little baby. If you stared at the spot for any length of time, you'd see a tiny flicker...the heartbeat.
The technician spent the next few minutes taking measurements and let us see the baby one last time so JPug could capture our first ultrasound on our FlipCam. At this point, our parents have no idea we're expecting but we're looking forward to sharing video from each appointment with them when the time is right. Before we left, the technician said Puglet is measuring perfectly...at 6 weeks, 1 day and the heartbeat was 117 (anything above 100 is good news). I should hear from Dr. K's nurse sometime this afternoon and I'll likely go in for my second ultrasound next Friday.
Oh, and I have my official due date...November 22nd, 2012. I honestly can't think of a better day...11 days after my birthday, one of my best friend's birthdays and Thanksgiving. Pretty perfect...and a heck of a lot to be thankful for!
Showing posts with label IUI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IUI. Show all posts
Friday, June 1, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Big Money, No Whammies!
Day 33 - Monday, March 19th
This morning I traveled to Dr. K's office for my 3rd and final blood test of the initial series. Other than being a little late (open office hours and I wasn't motivated to arrive right when they opened on a Monday), the draw itself was uneventful. Once again, the orders were STAT so they should have my results before the end of the day. Since this draw was technically 3 days after the second, the office will be looking for my betaHCG to be more than double Friday's number (which was 782) and Progesterone should be about the same (which was 38.9). I should also get the results of Friday's TSH test back today. As JPug says, we're hoping for Big Money, No Whammies!
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Just heard from Dr. K's office a few minutes ago. They called at 3:51p...sure to like to make a girl wait! Today, my HCG level was 2,698 which was more than 3x Friday's number. My progesterone was 30 and my TSH was 5.0. Because the TSH is higher than they'd like, they're going to increase my synthetic thyroid supplement to bring the level down and ensure no unnecessary harm comes to our growing Puglet. I'll have one more blood test later this week to test free T4 (don't know what that is at the moment...will need to do some research to explain) and our next step w/ Dr. K is our 6 week ultrasound on Friday, March 30th.
This morning I traveled to Dr. K's office for my 3rd and final blood test of the initial series. Other than being a little late (open office hours and I wasn't motivated to arrive right when they opened on a Monday), the draw itself was uneventful. Once again, the orders were STAT so they should have my results before the end of the day. Since this draw was technically 3 days after the second, the office will be looking for my betaHCG to be more than double Friday's number (which was 782) and Progesterone should be about the same (which was 38.9). I should also get the results of Friday's TSH test back today. As JPug says, we're hoping for Big Money, No Whammies!
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Just heard from Dr. K's office a few minutes ago. They called at 3:51p...sure to like to make a girl wait! Today, my HCG level was 2,698 which was more than 3x Friday's number. My progesterone was 30 and my TSH was 5.0. Because the TSH is higher than they'd like, they're going to increase my synthetic thyroid supplement to bring the level down and ensure no unnecessary harm comes to our growing Puglet. I'll have one more blood test later this week to test free T4 (don't know what that is at the moment...will need to do some research to explain) and our next step w/ Dr. K is our 6 week ultrasound on Friday, March 30th.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Number Two
Day 30 – Friday, March 16th
This morning I went to Dr. K’s office for my second of 3 blood tests. They’ll be measuring betaHCG, progesterone and TSH.
This morning I went to Dr. K’s office for my second of 3 blood tests. They’ll be measuring betaHCG, progesterone and TSH.
HCG, human chorionic gonadotropin, is a hormone produced during pregnancy. According to AmericanPregnancy.org, it’s made by the cells that form the placenta which nourishes the egg after it’s been fertilized and becomes attached to the uterine wall. In the majority of normal pregnancies, HCG will double every 48 – 72 hours so it’s a good indicator (although not fail-safe) that the pregnancy will be viable long-term.
Progesterone is measured to ensure the uterine lining is thick…a key component in a successful pregnancy as it helps to create a nutrient-rich environment. I’ve discussed TSH in detail previously but the quick and dirty is that studies have shown developmental delays in children carried by mothers with a TSH level above 4.0. I’ve continued my 50mcg dose of Levothyroxine since Dr. K increased my dose in October and feel pretty good.
There’s no real target for betaHCG on the initial test but Dr. K looks for it to double every 48 hours. My reading on Wednesday was 345 so today should be about 690 (maybe slightly less as my Wednesday test was over lunch). Dr. K looks for Progesterone to be above 10 (some doctors look for a number above 20) and should remain pretty constant…hopefully it remains close to or higher than Wednesday’s reading of 28.2.
For now, I’m waiting for Dr. K’s office to call with this morning’s results and hope they’re better than the results of our 2nd blood test in December.
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It’s 3:40p on Friday and I’m starting to convince myself that Dr. K’s office won’t be calling today. I’m going through a thousand different scenarios in my mind and am probably getting worked up over nothing…but I just can’t help myself! Dr. K’s nurse Judy finally called at 3:46p…I ran into a work conference room to have some privacy and she began. My betaHCG from this morning was 782 (more than double Wednesday’s number) and my progesterone increased to 38.9…both really good signs. I still haven’t breathed a sigh of relief but I’m very happy that I’m farther along with this pregnancy than I made it in December. Next up is my third and final blood test on Monday. Baby steps…literally!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
An Unexpected Hiccup
Day 29 – Thursday, March 15th
On my way to work this morning, I was rear-ended on the highway. I had just crossed over the Bond Bridge going south on I-35 (main North to South highway in KC). Traffic in front of me slowed…as did I. I didn’t make one of those super-quick, look in the rear-view mirror to be sure the people behind you stopped too kind of stops…so you can imagine my surprise when swerving cars caught my eye in the rear-view mirror…and I felt an impact. I knew it wasn’t too bad and I wasn’t hurt so I moved my car to the left shoulder, grabbed my phone to call the police and got out to make sure the other drivers were ok.
On my way to work this morning, I was rear-ended on the highway. I had just crossed over the Bond Bridge going south on I-35 (main North to South highway in KC). Traffic in front of me slowed…as did I. I didn’t make one of those super-quick, look in the rear-view mirror to be sure the people behind you stopped too kind of stops…so you can imagine my surprise when swerving cars caught my eye in the rear-view mirror…and I felt an impact. I knew it wasn’t too bad and I wasn’t hurt so I moved my car to the left shoulder, grabbed my phone to call the police and got out to make sure the other drivers were ok.
Behind me were two cars…a 10-ish year old cranberry minivan with a male driver who was injured and a newer mint green Honda Element with a crunched front end…but the driver was out of his car and seemed to be fine. After a couple of attempts, I called the police, checked on the driver of the minivan and gave a status update to the paramedic dispatcher. We worked with the injured driver to move his car from the center lane to the shoulder and before I was off the phone, the police had already arrived…go KCMO!
I walked back to my car to assess the damage and grab my insurance card and license. Considering the crash occurred on the highway, I was incredibly lucky. The rear passenger bumper of my SUV had only minor scrapes and dings which can hopefully be buffed out and repainted. Once the medics arrived, their standard protocol is to assess the driver of each vehicle to ensure they can be released without going to the hospital. As they finished my assessment, I asked about the pregnancy. Because the impact was so minor, it’s unlikely I would experience any negative side-effects…very comforting words to hear.
My car had the least amount of damage and was drivable so the officers took my statement first and allowed me to leave the scene right away…I still made it to work in time for my 8:30am team meeting! Before the day ended, I had already given my statement to our insurance company and their estimator came to assess the damage and provide a quote…go Travelers! I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t an inconvenience but all-in-all, I’m probably the happiest person you’ve ever encountered post-crash…I’m ok, the car is ok and hopefully TeamPug’s newest addition continues to grow.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Third Time’s a Charm?
IUI Cycle 3, Day 28 – Wednesday, March 14th (Pi Day for you math lovers!)
This morning I woke up just after 1am. Nature called so I made my way into the bathroom and took the test. The package states the result will be ready in about 3 minutes so I finished up my business and moved from the water closet to the main area of our bathroom to wait. Before I had even gotten into the main area (officially the fastest 3 minutes of my life), the result was visible…“Pregnant”. Wowzers.
Although a positive result should bring a rush of joy and excitement, I have to admit…it didn’t. I’ve had a positive test before…the feeling of ‘Wow, the road to get here was difficult but you finally made it’. I ran out to purchase ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’, signed up for a growing baby notification website and calculated my due date…but not this time around. This time I’m thinking with my head instead of my heart. We have three crucial blood tests to get through over the next week before we can even begin to breathe the slightest sigh of relief. Pretty deep thoughts for 1am, huh?!
After the positive result sank in, I climbed back in bed and did my best not to disturb JPug. It took me a couple of hours to fall back asleep and I accidentally woke JPug up in the mean-time. I told him about the test...and the result...and we're hoping things will go better than they did in December.
After the positive result sank in, I climbed back in bed and did my best not to disturb JPug. It took me a couple of hours to fall back asleep and I accidentally woke JPug up in the mean-time. I told him about the test...and the result...and we're hoping things will go better than they did in December.
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I went to Dr. K’s office over lunch to have the first of my 3 lab draws…they’ll be checking betaHCG, progesterone and possibly TSH. The office ordered the results STAT so hopefully they’ll get back to me before the end of the day...
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Just heard from Judy, Dr. K's nurse...my betaHCG is 345 and my progesterone is 28.5. In December, the initial reading for my betaHCG was 72 so the fact that today's number was nearly 5x December's brings the slightest bit of comfort. Now Dr. K's office will look for the number to double by Friday (my second blood draw) and double again by Monday (my third and final draw of the initial series). No expectations at this point...just a lot of hope and positive thoughts that this process has a different outcome.
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Just heard from Judy, Dr. K's nurse...my betaHCG is 345 and my progesterone is 28.5. In December, the initial reading for my betaHCG was 72 so the fact that today's number was nearly 5x December's brings the slightest bit of comfort. Now Dr. K's office will look for the number to double by Friday (my second blood draw) and double again by Monday (my third and final draw of the initial series). No expectations at this point...just a lot of hope and positive thoughts that this process has a different outcome.
Monday, May 21, 2012
The Next Go 'Round
Day 27 – Tuesday, March 13th
I haven’t blogged about TeamPug’s 3rd round of IUI...until today. We’re nearly 4 weeks into the process and the path we took was virtually the same as the ones we followed in November/December and January/February. The main, albeit minor, difference between the two previous processes was that I took Estroidl before insemination to enhance my uterine lining during round 1 but it wasn’t necessary during round 2. This month Dr. K put me back to Estroidl to ensure my lining was as thick as possible before insemination.
Just to recap the process…baseline transvaginal ultrasound on day 2, Clomid on days 3 – 7, second transvaginal ultrasound on day 11 and self-administered ovidrel injection on day 12. Day 14, we headed to Dr. K’s office for insemination and we’re happy to report that JPug’s count improved once again. The two weeks between insemination and the big test have gone pretty well. I started volunteering on Monday and Wednesday nights which keeps me busy and work has picked up so my mind doesn’t have much time to wander during the day. Last weekend was jam-packed full of my cousin’s pre-wedding festivities so our process barely crossed my mind…thank goodness!
Although it’s hard to believe given my two-shakes-from-crazy state of mind last time around, I’ve felt strangely calm about this month’s process. JPug and I have almost always been successful in life…especially if we put our mind to something. If xyz didn’t work out the first time, we tried harder and things went our way the second time around. Infertility is different…no matter how hard you try month after month, it’s a very real possibility that you won’t get the outcome you hope for. For overachieving TeamPug, that’s a really hard pill to swallow. I think my state of mind during round 3 can be attributed to the fact that I’m beginning to realize that we’re putting ourselves in the very best possible situation to be successful and we honestly can’t do anything more. At this point, the outcome is out of our hands.
I say I’ve been calm about the process and I absolutely have…until this afternoon. After lunch, I noticed some spotting when I used the restroom. About 1/3 of women who become pregnant experience implantation spotting or implantation bleeding; implantation typically occurs 8 – 10 days after ovulation. Because the timing of my cycle is well managed as we go through the process, I know that I’m right at 13 days after ovulation, not 10. Also, the color of the spotting can be an indicator for implantation…typically implantation spotting is pinkish or brownish in color but mine is bright red. These new developments have crushed any semblance of hope I had for this month’s process working. In the blink of an eye (or a couple trips to the restroom), it’s become hard to concentrate at work and all I can think about is skipping my post-work meeting and going home.
Once I arrived home, I wanted to talk about the process and wanted to ignore it completely…all at the same time. JPug was wonderful and had dinner ready but I didn’t appreciate it. At some point I finally broke down in tears…the thought of another month gone and the uncertainty of what’s to come are totally overwhelming. After dinner, I headed to bed and watched some TV before falling asleep…emotionally exhausted…at 8:30p.
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Test
The morning of Day 28, I woke up at 3:15a and took a test…no dice. I wasn’t shocked as I hadn’t felt any of the symptoms I experienced in December but I was definitely disappointed. The two weeks between insemination and testing are filled with such a barrage of emotions…hope, anxiety and everything in between. Everything leads up to the big test on day 28 and when it’s not positive, I'm thrust back into an unfortunately familiar situation.
To make matters worse, my body began to cycle naturally on Day 28. Rather than having a few days to absorb the process and its result, I was calling Dr. K’s office to let them know about cycle Day 1 once again. I’ll go back in for a baseline ultrasound and start this month’s dose of Clomid (if everything looks good) in just a few days.
This month’s process will be a good benchmark for Dr. K’s office. This is IUI #3 so they’ll evaluate my body’s reaction to the medications and the process thus far…and make a recommendation for the future. The next step could be stronger medications or different procedures…at this point we just hold tight and keep hope alive.
Speaking of hope, I have to admit that the process is beginning to lose its luster. On one hand, that’s a good thing because maybe that means I’ll be more relaxed next time around but on the other hand, it’s hard to continue believing the process will work eventually. In time, I’m sure everything will get easier…things always do.
Friday, March 16, 2012
The Waiting Game
This post was originally written on Monday, February 13th...
The second time around, the two-week waiting period between insemination and the big test is different. It may not be different for everyone but it has been for me.
The second time around, the two-week waiting period between insemination and the big test is different. It may not be different for everyone but it has been for me.
First and foremost, my expectations are higher. The process worked once before so I’m hopeful (almost overly so) that it will be again. Trust me, I know this line of thinking is totally unrealistic. I believe Dr. K said about 1 in 3 IUI treatments is successful (maybe even less as my memory re: this specific statistic is kind of foggy). We’ve already had our 1 so it wouldn’t be surprising for the next two to fall short…but, my mind immediately goes back to the fact that the process has worked before.
I found myself thinking about the looming test more during week 1 than I did last time around. I’ve been in the situation before so I’m even more mindful of my body and signs that could signal a pregnancy. Self-stalker…party of 1…that’s me!
Here’s my Catch-22. As much as I want to feel the same symptoms I felt last time around, I also don’t want to feel those things because the process worked but quickly fell apart. If I’m not feeling them, does that mean the process didn’t work at all? Man, how is it that I haven’t completely fallen off the deep-end of crazy yet?
Today is Day 25 and I can honestly say I haven’t felt anything like I did in December. The main thing I noticed last time around was breast tenderness but this time I haven’t noticed that at all…and believe me, it’s not because I haven’t tried! This time around my complexion has turned into the equivalent of a teenage girl but that could very well be a result of the hormones I take during the process or the fact that it’s finally winter in KC and the seasons are changing. I’ve also noticed some constipation but that could be the result of a number of things. No nausea, sensitivity to smells, tiredness…nothing.
I’m resisting the urge to test tomorrow (Day 26…which is also Valentine’s Day) because a positive result isn’t guaranteed 2 days early...I found that out the hard way in December. The surprise would make this ridiculous, consumer-driven holiday special but I just can’t put myself through an emotional roller coaster unnecessarily.
For now, we wait…I’ll keep myself busy, try to keep my mind clear for the next two and a half days and keep hope alive.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Take 2
This post was originally written in early February...
I haven’t blogged about our actual process in a while so I thought I’d provide an update. In January (one cycle after we experienced our first loss), my hormone levels returned to pre-pregnancy normal and we were able to begin the IUI process once again. For JPug and me, beginning the process again immediately was almost a no-brainer. Dr. K advised that we should wait until we were both physically and emotionally ready and for us, one cycle was enough.
The process was the same with a few, minor changes…if you didn’t read the series I published regarding our first IUI but would like to, scroll to the bottom of this post and click “IUI” under Labels. The link will take you to all IUI posts I’ve published…scroll to the bottom once the screen refreshes and read up.
I started the cycle with a baseline transvaginal ultrasound to check my uterus (thin lining, free of pollups and clots, etc.) and ovaries (no large follicles which could react poorly to medications during the cycle and cause problems)…everything looked good. Next was 50mg of Clomid during cycle days 3 – 7. If you remember from my previous posts, Clomid is the drug that has a tendency to make women emotional. Ironically JPug was travelling for work cycle days 3 – 7 so I wept…in bed…by myself…for 5 days straight. Just kidding folks…once again, Clomid didn’t seem to cause any issues.
Day 11, I went in to Dr. K’s office for my second transvaginal ultrasound. This is the ultrasound where they check to see how my follicles (which contain an egg) are maturing. Given that it’s the dead of winter and colds and the flu are running rampant in KC, Dr. K had a few folks out of the office. Instead of the ultrasound tech performing my exam, Judy, Dr. K’s nurse did the honors. I much prefer Judy to the technician because she doesn’t hesitate to comment on how things are progressing during the exam. At one point, she said that my body was reacting “beautifully” to the Clomid so I took that as a good sign.
Day 12, it was time for my Ovidrel shot which I administered myself (immediately after, I flexed my muscles because I felt pretty tough). One difference between our first process and this one is that I didn’t have to take Estradiol to enhance my uterine lining before the insemination…less drugs + the fact that my body made a sufficient lining by itself = happy me!
Day 14, INSEMINATION DAY. JPug did his thing and we returned an hour later for the insemination. Before she started, Jamie reviewed the results of JPug’s sample with us. He’s continued taking the medical food prescribed by Dr. N and it continues to work…his count increased once again. About 5 minutes later, insemination was complete and I laid on the elevated table for 15 minutes. Once the procedure was complete, we left the office and returned to work.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Holding Our Breath
If you're just joining the series, this is post #6 of 6. If you'd like to start from the beginning, scroll down to the bottom and click "IUI" which will pull up all posts associated to our IUI process. Once the refreshed view generates, scroll to the bottom and read up.
Day 30
I took another test today just to be sure yesterday wasn't some horrible, awful, false-positive trick. Sigh of relief...the second one said "Pregnant" too so now we're cautiously, optimistically, in business. I called Dr. K's office first thing and let them know the results.
About noon, Dr. K's nurse Jamie returned my call. I had a short list of questions which she answered thoroughly...next steps, Endometrin refill, TSH regulation during pregnancy, how long we stay under Dr. K's care and potential issues (gasp). I won't bore you with all the details...just the highlights.
First order of business is a barrage of blood tests. I'll have blood drawn tomorrow (day 31), Thursday (day 33) and Saturday (day 35) to check for my TSH, Beta HCG (pregnancy hormone) and progesterone level. As always, the TSH should be <2.5, there's not much of an initial target for Beta HCG and progesterone should be >10. I'll remain under Dr. K's care through 8 - 10 weeks of pregnancy...basically, they'll care for me until I can be transitioned over to an OB/GYN. I'll continue taking Endometrin through my 10th week of pregnancy. If you don't remember about Endometrin from my previous post...it's a progesterone supplement that will keep the lining of my uterus thick and healthy for our growing Puglet.
Day 31
Today's date is 12/13/11...eek! let's hope traditionally unlucky 13 is actually good luck for Team Pug! I went to Dr. K's office for my first blood test this morning. They called with the results this afternoon and things are looking good. My TSH was 2.23 (<2.5...yippee!), my Beta HCG was 72 and my progesterone was 25.5 (>10...yippee again!). Now that we have an initial Beta HCG reading, that will be a major benchmark for the next two tests. The Beta HCG should double every 48 hours at this point in the pregnancy and my progesterone level should stay the same. If my Beta HCG level is double on Thursday and double again on Saturday while my progesterone level stays the same, Dr. K's office will consider my pregnancy "healthy" and odds are good that we'll reach the next big milestone...12 weeks. Fingers are crossed and hopefully Team Pug can keep this string of seemingly incredible luck going!
Day 33
Today I went for my second blood test. Dr. K's office (and associated lab) is about 45 minutes from our house...in the opposite direction of work...so they allowed me to have the test completed at another branch of the lab just five minutes from home...yippee! I'm so used to having my drawn these days that the process is strangely routine. Luckily today's draw was uneventful and I was in and out in less than 10 minutes. Dr. K's office should have the results by the end of the day. We're looking forward to the phone call this afternoon but for now...we wait.
Day 34
I didn't hear from Dr. K's office yesterday afternoon and of course my mind starts to wonder...
Did the cetnral lab receive the blood sample and complete the test? Did the results get lost in "the cloud" en route to Dr. K? Are they waiting to call to delay bad news? Man...sometimes waiting just plain sucks. About 2pm, I called Dr. K's office to ensure I would hear from them today. They have a strict policy about not returning calls received after 3pm until the next day (in this case the following Monday) so I was sure to leave a message before 3.
Just after 2:30pm (ironically the start of a holiday party at work), Judy returned my call. She started with "I received your tests results this morning..." and continued with "and the HCG level has actually dropped". If you remember from earlier in the post...Dr. K's office was looking for the HCG level to double, not drop. Tuesday's level was 72, yesterday's level was 40. She suggested that I still have my blood taken tomorrow morning and continue the Endometrin through the weekend but it's obvious what the decreased number means...our joy was short lived and I'm about to lose our first baby.
It's almost impossible to put into words how devastating this news is. I understand we weren't at the 12-week mark, hadn't gotten anywhere near the end of the crucial 1st trimester and women lose babies all the time but after waiting nearly a year and a half and finally getting the positive news we had been hoping for...this is almost impossible to bear. The fact that we're just 9 short days from Christmas...a time to spend and celebrate with friends and family...only seems to add insult to injury.
So many concerns and questions are rushing through my head. It's likely Dr. K's office will chalk this loss up to genetic abnormality and after a period of time to re-regulate my cycle, they'll suggest attempting IUI again. But what if history repeats itself and we lose another baby? What if there's something more wrong with me besides my hypothyroid and small cervical opening and I'll never be able to support a pregnancy? How many babies do we have to lose before moving on to another option or we consider giving up? I know my words might sound like a doomsdasy scenario but my head automatically goes to worst case scenario because we've already been through a lot and worst case scenario could be our reality. I don't like it but that's the cold, hard truth.
Day 35
When it comes to life, I'm not a crier. I ball like a baby when it comes to even remotely-emotional movies but in real life I do a pretty good job of controlling my tears. Actually, I think I've only cried once during the process...JPug and I had a knock-down, drag-out fight when he told me I was being too emotional a few months ago. Last night, I cried myself to sleep and this morning I cried myself awake. I've been overcome with disappointment, a sense of foolishness and an emptiness in my gut that just won't go away. JPug and I went for my last blood test at 8am which went just fine...as fine as something like that can go when the doctor's office is only confirming loss.
Earlier in the week, JPug and I signed up for a new gym...Title Boxing Club...which opened just five minutes from our home. Although I received a pretty strict "no exercise" policy from Dr. K's office, boxing is ok because I can control the level of intensity and head to the treadmill for a brisk walk if the going gets tough. Today we went in for our first class...I donned my pink boxing gloves and took my frustration out on the bag. The hour-long class was really hard but downright wonderful. I didn't hold back because I figured what's the point?! Who would have thought the seemingly mindless action of signing up for a gym would turn into something so liberating just 3 days later? The gym gave me the opportunity to clear my head and get mad.
As the class finished, we unwrapped our hands and packed up to leave, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. Will I cry about the situation again? I'm sure I will but at least I know we made a positive step in the right direction this month.
Day 36
Today, Judy called with the news we expected. Team Pug's first baby is no more. A process that I didn't think could get any tougher took a turn for the worst but we can't deny the fact that the process of conception in its most basic form...worked. We have a long way to go for the process to work again, carry full term and deliver a healthy baby. The road ahead will probably be tough but it's one Team Pug will travel together...at this point, I feel like we're running a marathon, 6 inches at a time.
Day 30
I took another test today just to be sure yesterday wasn't some horrible, awful, false-positive trick. Sigh of relief...the second one said "Pregnant" too so now we're cautiously, optimistically, in business. I called Dr. K's office first thing and let them know the results.
About noon, Dr. K's nurse Jamie returned my call. I had a short list of questions which she answered thoroughly...next steps, Endometrin refill, TSH regulation during pregnancy, how long we stay under Dr. K's care and potential issues (gasp). I won't bore you with all the details...just the highlights.
First order of business is a barrage of blood tests. I'll have blood drawn tomorrow (day 31), Thursday (day 33) and Saturday (day 35) to check for my TSH, Beta HCG (pregnancy hormone) and progesterone level. As always, the TSH should be <2.5, there's not much of an initial target for Beta HCG and progesterone should be >10. I'll remain under Dr. K's care through 8 - 10 weeks of pregnancy...basically, they'll care for me until I can be transitioned over to an OB/GYN. I'll continue taking Endometrin through my 10th week of pregnancy. If you don't remember about Endometrin from my previous post...it's a progesterone supplement that will keep the lining of my uterus thick and healthy for our growing Puglet.
Day 31
Today's date is 12/13/11...eek! let's hope traditionally unlucky 13 is actually good luck for Team Pug! I went to Dr. K's office for my first blood test this morning. They called with the results this afternoon and things are looking good. My TSH was 2.23 (<2.5...yippee!), my Beta HCG was 72 and my progesterone was 25.5 (>10...yippee again!). Now that we have an initial Beta HCG reading, that will be a major benchmark for the next two tests. The Beta HCG should double every 48 hours at this point in the pregnancy and my progesterone level should stay the same. If my Beta HCG level is double on Thursday and double again on Saturday while my progesterone level stays the same, Dr. K's office will consider my pregnancy "healthy" and odds are good that we'll reach the next big milestone...12 weeks. Fingers are crossed and hopefully Team Pug can keep this string of seemingly incredible luck going!
Day 33
Today I went for my second blood test. Dr. K's office (and associated lab) is about 45 minutes from our house...in the opposite direction of work...so they allowed me to have the test completed at another branch of the lab just five minutes from home...yippee! I'm so used to having my drawn these days that the process is strangely routine. Luckily today's draw was uneventful and I was in and out in less than 10 minutes. Dr. K's office should have the results by the end of the day. We're looking forward to the phone call this afternoon but for now...we wait.
Day 34
I didn't hear from Dr. K's office yesterday afternoon and of course my mind starts to wonder...
Did the cetnral lab receive the blood sample and complete the test? Did the results get lost in "the cloud" en route to Dr. K? Are they waiting to call to delay bad news? Man...sometimes waiting just plain sucks. About 2pm, I called Dr. K's office to ensure I would hear from them today. They have a strict policy about not returning calls received after 3pm until the next day (in this case the following Monday) so I was sure to leave a message before 3.
Just after 2:30pm (ironically the start of a holiday party at work), Judy returned my call. She started with "I received your tests results this morning..." and continued with "and the HCG level has actually dropped". If you remember from earlier in the post...Dr. K's office was looking for the HCG level to double, not drop. Tuesday's level was 72, yesterday's level was 40. She suggested that I still have my blood taken tomorrow morning and continue the Endometrin through the weekend but it's obvious what the decreased number means...our joy was short lived and I'm about to lose our first baby.
It's almost impossible to put into words how devastating this news is. I understand we weren't at the 12-week mark, hadn't gotten anywhere near the end of the crucial 1st trimester and women lose babies all the time but after waiting nearly a year and a half and finally getting the positive news we had been hoping for...this is almost impossible to bear. The fact that we're just 9 short days from Christmas...a time to spend and celebrate with friends and family...only seems to add insult to injury.
So many concerns and questions are rushing through my head. It's likely Dr. K's office will chalk this loss up to genetic abnormality and after a period of time to re-regulate my cycle, they'll suggest attempting IUI again. But what if history repeats itself and we lose another baby? What if there's something more wrong with me besides my hypothyroid and small cervical opening and I'll never be able to support a pregnancy? How many babies do we have to lose before moving on to another option or we consider giving up? I know my words might sound like a doomsdasy scenario but my head automatically goes to worst case scenario because we've already been through a lot and worst case scenario could be our reality. I don't like it but that's the cold, hard truth.
Day 35
When it comes to life, I'm not a crier. I ball like a baby when it comes to even remotely-emotional movies but in real life I do a pretty good job of controlling my tears. Actually, I think I've only cried once during the process...JPug and I had a knock-down, drag-out fight when he told me I was being too emotional a few months ago. Last night, I cried myself to sleep and this morning I cried myself awake. I've been overcome with disappointment, a sense of foolishness and an emptiness in my gut that just won't go away. JPug and I went for my last blood test at 8am which went just fine...as fine as something like that can go when the doctor's office is only confirming loss.
Earlier in the week, JPug and I signed up for a new gym...Title Boxing Club...which opened just five minutes from our home. Although I received a pretty strict "no exercise" policy from Dr. K's office, boxing is ok because I can control the level of intensity and head to the treadmill for a brisk walk if the going gets tough. Today we went in for our first class...I donned my pink boxing gloves and took my frustration out on the bag. The hour-long class was really hard but downright wonderful. I didn't hold back because I figured what's the point?! Who would have thought the seemingly mindless action of signing up for a gym would turn into something so liberating just 3 days later? The gym gave me the opportunity to clear my head and get mad.
As the class finished, we unwrapped our hands and packed up to leave, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. Will I cry about the situation again? I'm sure I will but at least I know we made a positive step in the right direction this month.
Day 36
Today, Judy called with the news we expected. Team Pug's first baby is no more. A process that I didn't think could get any tougher took a turn for the worst but we can't deny the fact that the process of conception in its most basic form...worked. We have a long way to go for the process to work again, carry full term and deliver a healthy baby. The road ahead will probably be tough but it's one Team Pug will travel together...at this point, I feel like we're running a marathon, 6 inches at a time.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Lucky 11?
If you're just joining the series, this is post #5 of 6. If you'd like to start from the beginning, scroll down to the bottom and click "IUI" which will pull up all posts associated with our IUI process. Once the refreshed view generates, scroll to the bottom and read up. As I stated in the series introduction, please don't make any assumptions, ask any questions or post any comments until the series is complete...you never get the full picture until the puzzle is finished. Thanks!
Day 29
This morning, day 29, I took the test for formality's sake.
When you wait such a long time for something to happen, your mind dreams up all sorts of things...ways to tell friends & family the wait is over, major holidays that occur during pregnancy, when the baby might be due. Maybe other women's minds don't think, dream and calculate as much as mine...but mine does. Luckily I have enough sense to keep my mouth shut through the majority of this crazy-thinking or JPug might think I'm downright nutty.
The number 11 has always been lucky for me. It started on the day I was born...11-11-83. As a child, my mom would see 11:11 on a digital clock and tell me to make a wish...still to this day I find myself clock-wishing. I can't think of a great example right now but all sorts of good things have occurred with when 11s are involved. Am I making a ridiculous association out of a mere coincidence...yes...but there's a part of me that just can't fight the urge.
In true verging-on-crazy-person fashion, here's the most recent scenario I drew up in my head...
Day 1 of my last cycle was in November (11), insemination was two weeks later...still in November (11)...and the big test (day 29) was 12-11-11. Three 11s associated with this one scenario...it's got to be Team Pug's magic month! I finally confessed this insane concoction to JPug on the afternoon of day 28 along with the fact that I knew lucky 11 had finally let me down. His response..."Well, when we finally are expecting, you'll just have to get a new lucky number". JPug is a practical thinker so lucky numbers are definitely not his thing. But for him to throw his own opinions of my silliness out the window...lighten the mood and change my perspective...man, I love that JPug.
Alright, back to the test. I woke up about 7:15, made my way to the bathroom and did my business. Once I was finished, I covered the absorbent tip back up to avoid a mess and waited. The result was supposed to appear in 2 but no more than 10 minutes. I waited two minutes and a big, somewhat faint blue "-" appeared in the little window...at least I had my answer.
As I left the small toilet area and entered the larger part of our bathroom which has better lighting, the faintest blue "|" caught my eye. When I say faintest, I literally can't even describe how faint the line really was. I could only see it in the bright bathroom lights and it was almost indistinguishable. A few friends who are expecting once told me the faintest "+" still means positive but this "+" was so faint it could have been fabricated in my head. What to do now? I'm out of pee but I do have a test from two days ago that I could compare with today's results.
In no time flat, I was digging in the bathroom trash can to compare my test from Friday to the one from this morning (see...full on crazy!). After a minute or so of rummaging, I finally found it. As I exited the toilet area, both tests in hand, I heard the sound of footsteps on the tile. Shoot...I woke JPug up with my rummaging. As his eyes adjusted to the bathroom light, I cocked my head to the right, scrunched my nose and let out a confused..."So...?!". We looked at the tests together...agreed there was a VERY (almost ridiculously so) faint blue line on the most recent one and were overcome with the slightest feeling of hope.
At this point, what are two Pugs to do? Like I said before, I was out of pee and it was still early on a Sunday so we attempted to go back to sleep. After about 15 minutes, we agreed that WAS NOT going to happen. I drank some water...then some more. We watched TV and waited. About 9am, nature called and it was time for test #2. Luckily, I was out of appearing/disappearing "+" tests but had purchased some digital "Pregnant"/"Non-Pregnant" tests earlier in the week. I did my business...waited for the little hour glass to cycle and read the result a couple minutes later..."Pregnant". HO.LY.SH*T...the IUI process worked...the first time...and Lucky 11 definitely did not disappoint!
Day 29
This morning, day 29, I took the test for formality's sake.
When you wait such a long time for something to happen, your mind dreams up all sorts of things...ways to tell friends & family the wait is over, major holidays that occur during pregnancy, when the baby might be due. Maybe other women's minds don't think, dream and calculate as much as mine...but mine does. Luckily I have enough sense to keep my mouth shut through the majority of this crazy-thinking or JPug might think I'm downright nutty.
The number 11 has always been lucky for me. It started on the day I was born...11-11-83. As a child, my mom would see 11:11 on a digital clock and tell me to make a wish...still to this day I find myself clock-wishing. I can't think of a great example right now but all sorts of good things have occurred with when 11s are involved. Am I making a ridiculous association out of a mere coincidence...yes...but there's a part of me that just can't fight the urge.
In true verging-on-crazy-person fashion, here's the most recent scenario I drew up in my head...
Day 1 of my last cycle was in November (11), insemination was two weeks later...still in November (11)...and the big test (day 29) was 12-11-11. Three 11s associated with this one scenario...it's got to be Team Pug's magic month! I finally confessed this insane concoction to JPug on the afternoon of day 28 along with the fact that I knew lucky 11 had finally let me down. His response..."Well, when we finally are expecting, you'll just have to get a new lucky number". JPug is a practical thinker so lucky numbers are definitely not his thing. But for him to throw his own opinions of my silliness out the window...lighten the mood and change my perspective...man, I love that JPug.
Alright, back to the test. I woke up about 7:15, made my way to the bathroom and did my business. Once I was finished, I covered the absorbent tip back up to avoid a mess and waited. The result was supposed to appear in 2 but no more than 10 minutes. I waited two minutes and a big, somewhat faint blue "-" appeared in the little window...at least I had my answer.
As I left the small toilet area and entered the larger part of our bathroom which has better lighting, the faintest blue "|" caught my eye. When I say faintest, I literally can't even describe how faint the line really was. I could only see it in the bright bathroom lights and it was almost indistinguishable. A few friends who are expecting once told me the faintest "+" still means positive but this "+" was so faint it could have been fabricated in my head. What to do now? I'm out of pee but I do have a test from two days ago that I could compare with today's results.
In no time flat, I was digging in the bathroom trash can to compare my test from Friday to the one from this morning (see...full on crazy!). After a minute or so of rummaging, I finally found it. As I exited the toilet area, both tests in hand, I heard the sound of footsteps on the tile. Shoot...I woke JPug up with my rummaging. As his eyes adjusted to the bathroom light, I cocked my head to the right, scrunched my nose and let out a confused..."So...?!". We looked at the tests together...agreed there was a VERY (almost ridiculously so) faint blue line on the most recent one and were overcome with the slightest feeling of hope.
At this point, what are two Pugs to do? Like I said before, I was out of pee and it was still early on a Sunday so we attempted to go back to sleep. After about 15 minutes, we agreed that WAS NOT going to happen. I drank some water...then some more. We watched TV and waited. About 9am, nature called and it was time for test #2. Luckily, I was out of appearing/disappearing "+" tests but had purchased some digital "Pregnant"/"Non-Pregnant" tests earlier in the week. I did my business...waited for the little hour glass to cycle and read the result a couple minutes later..."Pregnant". HO.LY.SH*T...the IUI process worked...the first time...and Lucky 11 definitely did not disappoint!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
IUI Week 4
If you're just joining the series, this is post #4 of 6. If you'd like to start from the beginning, scroll down to the bottom and click "IUI" which will pull up all posts associated with our IUI process. Once the refreshed view generates, scroll to the bottom and read up. As I stated in the series introduction, please don't make any assumptions, ask any questions or post any comments until the series is complete...you never get the full picture until the puzzle is finished. Thanks!
Day 22
Day 22
It’s official, Team Pug has been waiting a full week to take the big test. I’ll be honest, the fact that the test looms in the somewhat near future has probably only crossed my mind once or twice a day. JPug and I make comments here and there (ok, the comments are typically initiated by me) but it’s by no means the one thing that consumes my every thought and for that I’m thankful. I’ve stayed busy at work and busy at home which keeps me in a great state of mind. I’m hoping this week goes by quickly and I don’t get in my own head…no reason to become my own worst enemy.
Day 26
I'd be lying if I said this week hasn't been difficult. I haven't been experiencing any of the tell-tale signs that signal a woman she might be expecting...some women experience symptoms and others don't so hope lives on. To be totally honest, my boobs have been a bit sore but I don't know if they've been sore because Baby Pug might be on board, my body is getting used to all the new meds, it's getting closer to that time of the month or I've literally become so psychotic about the situation that my brain has convinced by nervous system they're sore when they're actually not. Jeez, I sound like a mess!
Last night, I started the faintest spotting which could signal implantation (although my understanding of the process is that implantation should occur a bit earlier) or the beginning of this month's end. It's funny how you get so caught up in one month's process (especially when something is exciting and new) that you forget what happened just a month prior. Since starting my synthetic thyroid hormone, my cycle has been different...which I temporarily forgot. Instead of starting a full flow on what would be considered Day 1, I spot for 3 - 5 days before my full flow and my cycle Day 1 occurs somewhere between literal Day 4 and 6.
Today my spotting continued and became heavier...not what Dr. K's office would consider a full flow but things really aren't looking good. On one hand, it's nice to have an answer, know this wasn't our lucky month and move on but on the other hand it's hard. You build up a lot of (false) hope in a process because it's new, exciting and proven to work but it's kind of a crushing blow when it doesn't work immediately (instant gratification, yes please!).
As I go to bed on night 26, here are my honest, raw thoughts...
There you have it folks...it's likely month 1 of IUI was a bust and we'll get two more chances before we move on to our next option. We still have 3 more days to wait and confirm with a test but things really aren't looking good. I shed a few tears, was consoled by JPug and felt a rush of emotions as another failure stared me in the face and the thought of time, insurance coverage and money running out punched me in the gut. Am I sad and disappointed? You betcha. But hope lives on...we'll take a test, likely confirm our suspicions and get back on track for next month...BRING.IT.ON.
Day 27
The morning of day 27, I decided to take a test. It's just two days before Dr. K's nurse, Jamie, told me to test and tests are fairly accurate two days before your missed cycle. I have to call Dr. K's office about refilling my thyroid supplement so I've decided to discuss the spotting with them as well. I figured there's no reason to continue the Endometrin for a couple more days only to delay the inevitable. I rolled out of bed, went into the bathroom and tested. The type of tests I had weren't digital...just a "-" or a "+" appear depending on the outcome. A few minutes later, I had my answer...a big fat "-" appeared on the little screen. That was it, I had my answer and I was definitely going to talk to Dr. K's nurse.
I left a message first thing in the morning and it took literally all day for her office to return my call. About 3:30pm Friday, Judy called. I had a short list of questions...thyroid supplement refill, negative test, spotting, potentially skipping the next cycle depending on the days their office is closed around Christmas and whether or not Dr. K would consider increasing my Clomid dose the next go-around. Was I getting ahead of myself...yes...but JPug and I try to stay informed and what better source of information to rely on than the office that's treating us? Judy was patient and answered all of my questions thoroughly. At the end of our conversation, she suggested that I continue the Endometrin for the next two days and take another test to confirm on the original test date...day 29. I was slightly disappointed that this chapter of the process hadn't come to an end...in my mind it had but if I had to wait two more days to be sure, wait I would.
Day 28
Today was interesting...and totally jam packed. I ran some errands in the morning and prepared for a friend's baby shower which started just after noon. After the shower, we came home...changed and attended an ugly sweater party thrown by a friend JPug has known forever. These two parties...simple as they may seem...can be overwhelming. It may sound a bit crazy but I find myself preparing for what to expect before attending these type of events. At the baby shower, you know the expectant mother will be there but what you don't count on is friends or relatives who may also be expecting. I was expecting 1...but there were 2. At the ugly sweater party, I was expecting 1 but there were 3. Not good or bad...just temporarily overwhelming until I adjust to the situation. After the party, we headed home to get some much needed sleep.
Day 26
I'd be lying if I said this week hasn't been difficult. I haven't been experiencing any of the tell-tale signs that signal a woman she might be expecting...some women experience symptoms and others don't so hope lives on. To be totally honest, my boobs have been a bit sore but I don't know if they've been sore because Baby Pug might be on board, my body is getting used to all the new meds, it's getting closer to that time of the month or I've literally become so psychotic about the situation that my brain has convinced by nervous system they're sore when they're actually not. Jeez, I sound like a mess!
Last night, I started the faintest spotting which could signal implantation (although my understanding of the process is that implantation should occur a bit earlier) or the beginning of this month's end. It's funny how you get so caught up in one month's process (especially when something is exciting and new) that you forget what happened just a month prior. Since starting my synthetic thyroid hormone, my cycle has been different...which I temporarily forgot. Instead of starting a full flow on what would be considered Day 1, I spot for 3 - 5 days before my full flow and my cycle Day 1 occurs somewhere between literal Day 4 and 6.
Today my spotting continued and became heavier...not what Dr. K's office would consider a full flow but things really aren't looking good. On one hand, it's nice to have an answer, know this wasn't our lucky month and move on but on the other hand it's hard. You build up a lot of (false) hope in a process because it's new, exciting and proven to work but it's kind of a crushing blow when it doesn't work immediately (instant gratification, yes please!).
As I go to bed on night 26, here are my honest, raw thoughts...
There you have it folks...it's likely month 1 of IUI was a bust and we'll get two more chances before we move on to our next option. We still have 3 more days to wait and confirm with a test but things really aren't looking good. I shed a few tears, was consoled by JPug and felt a rush of emotions as another failure stared me in the face and the thought of time, insurance coverage and money running out punched me in the gut. Am I sad and disappointed? You betcha. But hope lives on...we'll take a test, likely confirm our suspicions and get back on track for next month...BRING.IT.ON.
Day 27
The morning of day 27, I decided to take a test. It's just two days before Dr. K's nurse, Jamie, told me to test and tests are fairly accurate two days before your missed cycle. I have to call Dr. K's office about refilling my thyroid supplement so I've decided to discuss the spotting with them as well. I figured there's no reason to continue the Endometrin for a couple more days only to delay the inevitable. I rolled out of bed, went into the bathroom and tested. The type of tests I had weren't digital...just a "-" or a "+" appear depending on the outcome. A few minutes later, I had my answer...a big fat "-" appeared on the little screen. That was it, I had my answer and I was definitely going to talk to Dr. K's nurse.
I left a message first thing in the morning and it took literally all day for her office to return my call. About 3:30pm Friday, Judy called. I had a short list of questions...thyroid supplement refill, negative test, spotting, potentially skipping the next cycle depending on the days their office is closed around Christmas and whether or not Dr. K would consider increasing my Clomid dose the next go-around. Was I getting ahead of myself...yes...but JPug and I try to stay informed and what better source of information to rely on than the office that's treating us? Judy was patient and answered all of my questions thoroughly. At the end of our conversation, she suggested that I continue the Endometrin for the next two days and take another test to confirm on the original test date...day 29. I was slightly disappointed that this chapter of the process hadn't come to an end...in my mind it had but if I had to wait two more days to be sure, wait I would.
Day 28
Today was interesting...and totally jam packed. I ran some errands in the morning and prepared for a friend's baby shower which started just after noon. After the shower, we came home...changed and attended an ugly sweater party thrown by a friend JPug has known forever. These two parties...simple as they may seem...can be overwhelming. It may sound a bit crazy but I find myself preparing for what to expect before attending these type of events. At the baby shower, you know the expectant mother will be there but what you don't count on is friends or relatives who may also be expecting. I was expecting 1...but there were 2. At the ugly sweater party, I was expecting 1 but there were 3. Not good or bad...just temporarily overwhelming until I adjust to the situation. After the party, we headed home to get some much needed sleep.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
IUI Week 3
If you're just joining the series, this is post #3 of 6. If you'd like to start from the beginning, scroll down to the bottom and click "IUI" which will pull up all posts associated to our IUI process. Once the refreshed view generates, scroll to the bottom and read up. As I stated in the series introduction, please don't make any assumptions, ask any questions or post any comments until the series is complete...you never get the full picture until the puzzle is finished. Thanks!
Day 15
Today was the big day...insemination. We woke up before 7...on a Sunday...and arrived at Dr. K's office about 10 minutes to 8. We pulled into the parking lot and were the only car. Luckily, the front doors of the office building were unlocked and we proceeded to the 2nd floor. As we stepped off the elevator, the clinic doors weren't open and the lights weren't on. Oh no...did we go to the right place at the right time on the right day?! Sigh of relief...a few minutes later, Dr. K's nurse came in and opened the clinic.
The technician called JPug back once she arrived and he did his thing. It would take the technician about an hour to wash his sample so we left the office and enjoyed a quick breakfast. Once we returned, we waited in the office for about 15 minutes before Dr. K's nurse, Jamie, escorted us back into an exam room. She answered a few questions we had and reviewed the results of JPug's sample. Good news...the numbers were improved from the previous 3 samples...still below the target numbers but literally 100% better than they were previously so JPug and I were pleased...guess the medical food is actually working :) Jamie provided a gown, asked me to change and returned about 10 minutes later to complete the procedure. The procedure is similar to a yearly exam...slightly uncomfortable but no real pain. Once she was all set up, she inserted a catheter into my cervix and inserted the sample into my uterus...insemination complete. I laid back on an elevated table for 15 minutes and we were free to go about our day.
Now comes the hardest part...waiting. We'll wait two weeks before we take a pregnancy test. Right now, two weeks seems like FOREVER.
Day 15
Today was the big day...insemination. We woke up before 7...on a Sunday...and arrived at Dr. K's office about 10 minutes to 8. We pulled into the parking lot and were the only car. Luckily, the front doors of the office building were unlocked and we proceeded to the 2nd floor. As we stepped off the elevator, the clinic doors weren't open and the lights weren't on. Oh no...did we go to the right place at the right time on the right day?! Sigh of relief...a few minutes later, Dr. K's nurse came in and opened the clinic.
The technician called JPug back once she arrived and he did his thing. It would take the technician about an hour to wash his sample so we left the office and enjoyed a quick breakfast. Once we returned, we waited in the office for about 15 minutes before Dr. K's nurse, Jamie, escorted us back into an exam room. She answered a few questions we had and reviewed the results of JPug's sample. Good news...the numbers were improved from the previous 3 samples...still below the target numbers but literally 100% better than they were previously so JPug and I were pleased...guess the medical food is actually working :) Jamie provided a gown, asked me to change and returned about 10 minutes later to complete the procedure. The procedure is similar to a yearly exam...slightly uncomfortable but no real pain. Once she was all set up, she inserted a catheter into my cervix and inserted the sample into my uterus...insemination complete. I laid back on an elevated table for 15 minutes and we were free to go about our day.
Now comes the hardest part...waiting. We'll wait two weeks before we take a pregnancy test. Right now, two weeks seems like FOREVER.
Day 20
Today I began another medication, Endometrin, to ensure the lining of my uterus stays thick enough to support implantation and a maturing embryo. I’ll continue to take the pills once a day until we take “the test”. If it’s negative, I’ll discontinue the Endometrin and allow my body to cycle. If it’s positive, I’ll continue taking the pills through my 10th week of pregnancy. The pills are literally the biggest I’ve ever seen but at this point there’s no denying I’ll do whatever it takes to give a potential baby Pug the best chance to come on board and stay on board for a full 9 months.
Going through the process…the hurry up and wait…I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. On one hand, it sucks that we couldn’t conceive naturally and we had to turn to modern medicine for assistance but on the other hand, modern medicine is literally giving us the hope that we will one day have our own, biological child(ren). The advances in medicine, understanding of the reproductive process and steps doctors can take to make positive changes…the whole process is TRULY AMAZING.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
IUI Week 2
Day 9 - AM
I finished my first round of Clomid two days ago and I'm happy to report that I experienced NO side effects. JPug is the big winner in this situation because that means no moodiness. This afternoon I go for my HSG (hysterosalpingogram) which I'm secretly dreading. An HSG is an x-ray procedure where dye is injected into my uterus and should flow into my fallopian tubes. Hopefully, it will ensure the structure is normal and no blockages exist (if there's a blockage, the egg is unable to meet the man's sperm for fertilization in the fallopian tube which is crucial for conception). When Dr. K's office told me they'd be performing the procedure, they also added the caveat to stay off the internet. HSGs are notoriously painful if a blockage exists as the contrast dye builds up in the woman's fallopian tubes until the pressure clears the blockage (good thing but painful during the process). The internet provides a wealth of information regarding the procedure but it's also a place where women who have had bad experiences come to vent; for the most part, I stayed off the internet.
Day 9 - PM
I left work at 2pm and headed to a diagnostic imaging center. As I left work, I realized I forgot to take the recommended 400mgs of Ibuprofen 1hr before the procedure so I detoured by a pharmacy on the way. After checking in, I was moved into an x-ray exam room where they provided a gown so I could change. Before beginning the procedure, the technician explained what the radiologist would be doing and asked JPug to take a seat in the waiting area. They would be inserting a catheter into my uterus, inflating a small balloon at the end to ensure the catheter doesn't fall out and injecting contrast dye while taking x-ray pictures of the structure...sounds simple.
I laid back and the radiologist began. It took a few minutes to get everything set up and in place; thus far, the procedure had been uncomfortable but not too bad. Once she was ready, the radiologist said "OK, I'm all set". I lifted my head (which had been turned to the right watching the monitor) to acknowledge her comment but she didn't make eye contact. Before I knew it, I turned my head back to the monitor and could see my uterus and fallopian tubes clear as day. I didn't get a chance to ask if the procedure had been a success before the radiologist said "Wow, you're almost finished"; she snapped a couple pictures and I was done. The procedure had been slightly uncomfortable but wasn't anything near the pain some women expressed online. I would classify my visit to the radiologist as a complete success.
Day 11
This morning, JPug and I stopped by Dr. K's office for my second ultrasound. As the process continues and I near insemination, the ultrasound technician is looking at the size and number of maturing follicles (each follicle contains an egg) as well as the thickness of my uterus (which will hopefully, eventually support a maturing embryo). Today the radiologist found 3 maturing follicles (one larger than the other two) but noted that my uterine lining was thin. I'll begin taking Estradiol for the next 3 days which is a drug that's used to enhance the thickness of my uterine lining.
Day 13
Today is my last day of Estradiol and I'm happy to report I haven't experienced any negative side effects. Today is also the day for my Ovidrel shot which I'll take between 8 and 10pm to trigger ovulation . Please note...I'm REALLY not looking forward to giving myself a shot. Neither Dr. K's office nor the pharmacy provided directions regarding administering the shot but I was lucky enough to find some on YouTube...the internet is pretty cool, huh?!
Around 8:30pm, I finally mustered enough courage to give myself the shot. I was at a baby shower for a friend so I excused myself to the bathroom, laid out all the supplies and began. First, the alcohol swab...somewhere between both hips and below the belly button. I allowed the alcohol to dry and pulled out the syringe. I pushed the excess air through the syringe, pinched the previously-swabbed area, stuck the needle in and shot away. I have no interest in becoming a regular drug user but the shot wasn't too bad. I cleaned up my supplies, left the bathroom and rejoined the party.
I finished my first round of Clomid two days ago and I'm happy to report that I experienced NO side effects. JPug is the big winner in this situation because that means no moodiness. This afternoon I go for my HSG (hysterosalpingogram) which I'm secretly dreading. An HSG is an x-ray procedure where dye is injected into my uterus and should flow into my fallopian tubes. Hopefully, it will ensure the structure is normal and no blockages exist (if there's a blockage, the egg is unable to meet the man's sperm for fertilization in the fallopian tube which is crucial for conception). When Dr. K's office told me they'd be performing the procedure, they also added the caveat to stay off the internet. HSGs are notoriously painful if a blockage exists as the contrast dye builds up in the woman's fallopian tubes until the pressure clears the blockage (good thing but painful during the process). The internet provides a wealth of information regarding the procedure but it's also a place where women who have had bad experiences come to vent; for the most part, I stayed off the internet.
Day 9 - PM
I left work at 2pm and headed to a diagnostic imaging center. As I left work, I realized I forgot to take the recommended 400mgs of Ibuprofen 1hr before the procedure so I detoured by a pharmacy on the way. After checking in, I was moved into an x-ray exam room where they provided a gown so I could change. Before beginning the procedure, the technician explained what the radiologist would be doing and asked JPug to take a seat in the waiting area. They would be inserting a catheter into my uterus, inflating a small balloon at the end to ensure the catheter doesn't fall out and injecting contrast dye while taking x-ray pictures of the structure...sounds simple.
I laid back and the radiologist began. It took a few minutes to get everything set up and in place; thus far, the procedure had been uncomfortable but not too bad. Once she was ready, the radiologist said "OK, I'm all set". I lifted my head (which had been turned to the right watching the monitor) to acknowledge her comment but she didn't make eye contact. Before I knew it, I turned my head back to the monitor and could see my uterus and fallopian tubes clear as day. I didn't get a chance to ask if the procedure had been a success before the radiologist said "Wow, you're almost finished"; she snapped a couple pictures and I was done. The procedure had been slightly uncomfortable but wasn't anything near the pain some women expressed online. I would classify my visit to the radiologist as a complete success.
Day 11
This morning, JPug and I stopped by Dr. K's office for my second ultrasound. As the process continues and I near insemination, the ultrasound technician is looking at the size and number of maturing follicles (each follicle contains an egg) as well as the thickness of my uterus (which will hopefully, eventually support a maturing embryo). Today the radiologist found 3 maturing follicles (one larger than the other two) but noted that my uterine lining was thin. I'll begin taking Estradiol for the next 3 days which is a drug that's used to enhance the thickness of my uterine lining.
Day 13
Today is my last day of Estradiol and I'm happy to report I haven't experienced any negative side effects. Today is also the day for my Ovidrel shot which I'll take between 8 and 10pm to trigger ovulation . Please note...I'm REALLY not looking forward to giving myself a shot. Neither Dr. K's office nor the pharmacy provided directions regarding administering the shot but I was lucky enough to find some on YouTube...the internet is pretty cool, huh?!
Around 8:30pm, I finally mustered enough courage to give myself the shot. I was at a baby shower for a friend so I excused myself to the bathroom, laid out all the supplies and began. First, the alcohol swab...somewhere between both hips and below the belly button. I allowed the alcohol to dry and pulled out the syringe. I pushed the excess air through the syringe, pinched the previously-swabbed area, stuck the needle in and shot away. I have no interest in becoming a regular drug user but the shot wasn't too bad. I cleaned up my supplies, left the bathroom and rejoined the party.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
IUI Week 1
Tuesday - Day 3
Today was my first of 4 or 5 appointments at Dr. K’s office over the next month. Since seeing Dr. K for our initial visit in August, we’ve gone through a battery of tests, I started a synthetic thyroid hormone supplement and we consulted Dr. N for a full JPug check. All the while, one thing remained the same…I was to call Dr. K’s nurse line on the first day of my cycle. My cycle started Sunday and I went in for the first of many appointments today. I’m sure each physician practice has their own way of doing things…our experience is with Dr. K so that’s what I’ll share.
Today was my first of 4 or 5 appointments at Dr. K’s office over the next month. Since seeing Dr. K for our initial visit in August, we’ve gone through a battery of tests, I started a synthetic thyroid hormone supplement and we consulted Dr. N for a full JPug check. All the while, one thing remained the same…I was to call Dr. K’s nurse line on the first day of my cycle. My cycle started Sunday and I went in for the first of many appointments today. I’m sure each physician practice has their own way of doing things…our experience is with Dr. K so that’s what I’ll share.
Day 3’s appointment was quick, easy and painless…hurray! It’s been 5 weeks since Dr. K increased my supplemental thyroid hormone dose and it was time for a re-test. My last TSH level was 2.7 and Dr. K looks for 2.5 or below so we’re hoping for good news later this afternoon. After the blood draw, I moved into an ultrasound exam room where the technician completed a baseline transvaginal ultrasound to check my uterus (thin lining, free of pollups and clots, etc.) and ovaries (no large follicles which could react poorly to medications during the cycle and cause problems).
If Dr. K thinks everything looks good, I’ll begin my first dose of Clomid later today. Clomid, the brand-name for clomiphene citrate, is a well-known fertility drug that’s used to jump start ovulation in women. If you’re interested in additional information on Clomid, read this article. I’ll take it for 5 days (cycle days 3 – 7) with the hope that it enhances egg production, producing one (or potentially more) mature eggs. Dr. K will likely start me on a low-dose of Clomid (50mg) which my body may not react to. If that’s the case, that’ll be another piece of our ever-evolving puzzle and we’ll wait to increase the dose and continue our journey next month.
Clomid does have a handful of side-effects including mood swings (lucky JPug) and over-production of eggs. Multiple mature eggs increase a couple’s chance of multiples and could even cause a woman’s ovaries to twist or rupture…neither of which are considered “good” outcomes. The prospect of having multiple babies might seem cool and exciting but for a couple experiencing infertility, the goal of treatment is to have one healthy baby in utero and deliver a healthy baby at full term. Multiple babies are more likely to deliver early and have complications related to pre-term delivery.
I heard from Dr. K’s office a few minutes ago and my morning ultrasound looked “good” (or maybe even “great”…I can’t remember). They feel comfortable moving forward with Clomid for this cycle (as well as two other drugs which I’ll explain in a future post) and hopefully the tricky Thanksgiving holiday timing will be on our side. I’m happy to report that we continue to make steps in the right direction and am cautiously optimistic that the procedures will lead to a baby Pug on board.
Wednesday - Day 4
One more quick update...I heard from Dr. K's office just after lunch and the results of my TSH evaluation are in. Drum roll please..........it's 1.46. YIPPEE! One step closer.
Wednesday - Day 4
One more quick update...I heard from Dr. K's office just after lunch and the results of my TSH evaluation are in. Drum roll please..........it's 1.46. YIPPEE! One step closer.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The Process
Over the past month and a half, I haven't published many posts but I've been blogging like crazy. TeamPug went through our first round of IUI and the roller coaster of emotions associated with it. The posts, organized into a series of 6, will be published over the coming weeks. They track the process and associated emotions every few days. The posts were written in real time...as we experienced the ups and downs...so what you'll read is pure. I have one request...please don't make any assumptions, ask any questions or post any comments until the series is complete...you never get the full picture until the puzzle is finished.
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