If you're just joining the series, this is post #4 of 6. If you'd like to start from the beginning, scroll down to the bottom and click "IUI" which will pull up all posts associated with our IUI process. Once the refreshed view generates, scroll to the bottom and read up. As I stated in the series introduction, please don't make any assumptions, ask any questions or post any comments until the series is complete...you never get the full picture until the puzzle is finished. Thanks!
Day 22
Day 22
It’s official, Team Pug has been waiting a full week to take the big test. I’ll be honest, the fact that the test looms in the somewhat near future has probably only crossed my mind once or twice a day. JPug and I make comments here and there (ok, the comments are typically initiated by me) but it’s by no means the one thing that consumes my every thought and for that I’m thankful. I’ve stayed busy at work and busy at home which keeps me in a great state of mind. I’m hoping this week goes by quickly and I don’t get in my own head…no reason to become my own worst enemy.
Day 26
I'd be lying if I said this week hasn't been difficult. I haven't been experiencing any of the tell-tale signs that signal a woman she might be expecting...some women experience symptoms and others don't so hope lives on. To be totally honest, my boobs have been a bit sore but I don't know if they've been sore because Baby Pug might be on board, my body is getting used to all the new meds, it's getting closer to that time of the month or I've literally become so psychotic about the situation that my brain has convinced by nervous system they're sore when they're actually not. Jeez, I sound like a mess!
Last night, I started the faintest spotting which could signal implantation (although my understanding of the process is that implantation should occur a bit earlier) or the beginning of this month's end. It's funny how you get so caught up in one month's process (especially when something is exciting and new) that you forget what happened just a month prior. Since starting my synthetic thyroid hormone, my cycle has been different...which I temporarily forgot. Instead of starting a full flow on what would be considered Day 1, I spot for 3 - 5 days before my full flow and my cycle Day 1 occurs somewhere between literal Day 4 and 6.
Today my spotting continued and became heavier...not what Dr. K's office would consider a full flow but things really aren't looking good. On one hand, it's nice to have an answer, know this wasn't our lucky month and move on but on the other hand it's hard. You build up a lot of (false) hope in a process because it's new, exciting and proven to work but it's kind of a crushing blow when it doesn't work immediately (instant gratification, yes please!).
As I go to bed on night 26, here are my honest, raw thoughts...
There you have it folks...it's likely month 1 of IUI was a bust and we'll get two more chances before we move on to our next option. We still have 3 more days to wait and confirm with a test but things really aren't looking good. I shed a few tears, was consoled by JPug and felt a rush of emotions as another failure stared me in the face and the thought of time, insurance coverage and money running out punched me in the gut. Am I sad and disappointed? You betcha. But hope lives on...we'll take a test, likely confirm our suspicions and get back on track for next month...BRING.IT.ON.
Day 27
The morning of day 27, I decided to take a test. It's just two days before Dr. K's nurse, Jamie, told me to test and tests are fairly accurate two days before your missed cycle. I have to call Dr. K's office about refilling my thyroid supplement so I've decided to discuss the spotting with them as well. I figured there's no reason to continue the Endometrin for a couple more days only to delay the inevitable. I rolled out of bed, went into the bathroom and tested. The type of tests I had weren't digital...just a "-" or a "+" appear depending on the outcome. A few minutes later, I had my answer...a big fat "-" appeared on the little screen. That was it, I had my answer and I was definitely going to talk to Dr. K's nurse.
I left a message first thing in the morning and it took literally all day for her office to return my call. About 3:30pm Friday, Judy called. I had a short list of questions...thyroid supplement refill, negative test, spotting, potentially skipping the next cycle depending on the days their office is closed around Christmas and whether or not Dr. K would consider increasing my Clomid dose the next go-around. Was I getting ahead of myself...yes...but JPug and I try to stay informed and what better source of information to rely on than the office that's treating us? Judy was patient and answered all of my questions thoroughly. At the end of our conversation, she suggested that I continue the Endometrin for the next two days and take another test to confirm on the original test date...day 29. I was slightly disappointed that this chapter of the process hadn't come to an end...in my mind it had but if I had to wait two more days to be sure, wait I would.
Day 28
Today was interesting...and totally jam packed. I ran some errands in the morning and prepared for a friend's baby shower which started just after noon. After the shower, we came home...changed and attended an ugly sweater party thrown by a friend JPug has known forever. These two parties...simple as they may seem...can be overwhelming. It may sound a bit crazy but I find myself preparing for what to expect before attending these type of events. At the baby shower, you know the expectant mother will be there but what you don't count on is friends or relatives who may also be expecting. I was expecting 1...but there were 2. At the ugly sweater party, I was expecting 1 but there were 3. Not good or bad...just temporarily overwhelming until I adjust to the situation. After the party, we headed home to get some much needed sleep.
Day 26
I'd be lying if I said this week hasn't been difficult. I haven't been experiencing any of the tell-tale signs that signal a woman she might be expecting...some women experience symptoms and others don't so hope lives on. To be totally honest, my boobs have been a bit sore but I don't know if they've been sore because Baby Pug might be on board, my body is getting used to all the new meds, it's getting closer to that time of the month or I've literally become so psychotic about the situation that my brain has convinced by nervous system they're sore when they're actually not. Jeez, I sound like a mess!
Last night, I started the faintest spotting which could signal implantation (although my understanding of the process is that implantation should occur a bit earlier) or the beginning of this month's end. It's funny how you get so caught up in one month's process (especially when something is exciting and new) that you forget what happened just a month prior. Since starting my synthetic thyroid hormone, my cycle has been different...which I temporarily forgot. Instead of starting a full flow on what would be considered Day 1, I spot for 3 - 5 days before my full flow and my cycle Day 1 occurs somewhere between literal Day 4 and 6.
Today my spotting continued and became heavier...not what Dr. K's office would consider a full flow but things really aren't looking good. On one hand, it's nice to have an answer, know this wasn't our lucky month and move on but on the other hand it's hard. You build up a lot of (false) hope in a process because it's new, exciting and proven to work but it's kind of a crushing blow when it doesn't work immediately (instant gratification, yes please!).
As I go to bed on night 26, here are my honest, raw thoughts...
There you have it folks...it's likely month 1 of IUI was a bust and we'll get two more chances before we move on to our next option. We still have 3 more days to wait and confirm with a test but things really aren't looking good. I shed a few tears, was consoled by JPug and felt a rush of emotions as another failure stared me in the face and the thought of time, insurance coverage and money running out punched me in the gut. Am I sad and disappointed? You betcha. But hope lives on...we'll take a test, likely confirm our suspicions and get back on track for next month...BRING.IT.ON.
Day 27
The morning of day 27, I decided to take a test. It's just two days before Dr. K's nurse, Jamie, told me to test and tests are fairly accurate two days before your missed cycle. I have to call Dr. K's office about refilling my thyroid supplement so I've decided to discuss the spotting with them as well. I figured there's no reason to continue the Endometrin for a couple more days only to delay the inevitable. I rolled out of bed, went into the bathroom and tested. The type of tests I had weren't digital...just a "-" or a "+" appear depending on the outcome. A few minutes later, I had my answer...a big fat "-" appeared on the little screen. That was it, I had my answer and I was definitely going to talk to Dr. K's nurse.
I left a message first thing in the morning and it took literally all day for her office to return my call. About 3:30pm Friday, Judy called. I had a short list of questions...thyroid supplement refill, negative test, spotting, potentially skipping the next cycle depending on the days their office is closed around Christmas and whether or not Dr. K would consider increasing my Clomid dose the next go-around. Was I getting ahead of myself...yes...but JPug and I try to stay informed and what better source of information to rely on than the office that's treating us? Judy was patient and answered all of my questions thoroughly. At the end of our conversation, she suggested that I continue the Endometrin for the next two days and take another test to confirm on the original test date...day 29. I was slightly disappointed that this chapter of the process hadn't come to an end...in my mind it had but if I had to wait two more days to be sure, wait I would.
Day 28
Today was interesting...and totally jam packed. I ran some errands in the morning and prepared for a friend's baby shower which started just after noon. After the shower, we came home...changed and attended an ugly sweater party thrown by a friend JPug has known forever. These two parties...simple as they may seem...can be overwhelming. It may sound a bit crazy but I find myself preparing for what to expect before attending these type of events. At the baby shower, you know the expectant mother will be there but what you don't count on is friends or relatives who may also be expecting. I was expecting 1...but there were 2. At the ugly sweater party, I was expecting 1 but there were 3. Not good or bad...just temporarily overwhelming until I adjust to the situation. After the party, we headed home to get some much needed sleep.
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